so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
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Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
That was before I lit my hair on fire
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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