it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
