toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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