Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
