I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
