I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I need moral support for this bender
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
