so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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