I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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