farters have to be the big spoon...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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