I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Randomize