it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
