Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
