best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
home. puking in laundry basket.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
