In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
