You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
