I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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