everyone is single if you try hard enough
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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