I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
