I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
