Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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