didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
