When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
