what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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