he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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