i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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