Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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