is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
