Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
