I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
