We won't sleep together?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
