yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
