Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this just has baby written all over it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
