Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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