My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
