the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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