I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
