your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
