so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
