his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
