The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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