I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
