remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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