she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
