Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
