no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
