In the future we'll all be gay
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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