Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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