Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
