don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
