Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
