nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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