butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
