Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
