He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
