so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
