Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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