Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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