On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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